Go on, jejemon

A man was found inside a sack with a bullet wound on his head, and GMA7 news reported he is a victim of summary execution.
TV5 news, reporting about a raging fire in Pasay, said the fire quickly spread because the houses of the informal settlers were made of light materials.

Summary execution instead of “salvaging.” Informal settlers instead of “squatters.” Very nice, a little political correctness won’t hurt.

Meanwhile, DepEd is waging war against jeje-speak.

“What’s alarming is these misspelled words have found their way into academic requirements like essays,” according to DepEd spokesperson Jonathan Malaya.
“We got reports from teachers that even high school students use these spellings in their compositions,” he said.
This has resulted in students getting failing marks in reading, writing and comprehension skills, the DepEd said.

Really? Really really? Wow. I was into the whole “it doesn’t hurt anyone, kids are just creating their own form of expression” argument, but if this is true, IF the report is true, then it changes everything.

I don’t believe it though. If a student indeed used it for a report, I think it was meant as a joke. Malakas lang ang loob siguro talaga nung bata. Which is not entirely a bad thing. Having their own identity is supposed to be a good thing, right?

Hippies had their own thing going in the 60′s. (“Dude,” kung wala masyado “happening” dito, “split” na tayo ha?) Black people speak to each other in ways only they can comprehend. “That was sick!” turned out to be good, and being called “Dog” (or “Dawg”) is “cool” and “chill”, and these expressions have become mainstream and acceptable. Our parents were “jeproks” then, adapting it from the western “projects”, and they inverted syllables (re-pa, erap, to-dits, nosi ba lasi, dehins), and corrupted word meanings (how peeing came to be known as “jingle” or “dyingel” is beyond me), and yet they turned out OK and these words are now part of everyday conversations, we do not even notice it anymore.

I am not saying that “jejespeak” and “jejemons” are here to stay, or will form part of the future of our dialect. What I am putting out is that it is just a fad, another way for our kids to feel they belong to a group or a clique. And fads go either of two routes … it fades away naturally, or it transcends time and goes mainstream. I am betting (and hoping) this will just go away in time. But by giving “jejespeak” the attention we are giving it now, we are just extending its lifespan.

I say let kids be kids. Relax, chill.

Weekly links

A thunderous hail storm hit Oklahoma, and here are a couple of nicely filmed hail pelting a swimming pool, and another video where the owner watches as hail ruins his truck. In the Philippines, recent (and rare) hail storms were in Baguio 2007, and in Batangas just this June 2009. Meanwhile, current times, Metro Manila and the rest of the country is having a fever, with temperatures peaking at 37.3 last week. Nilalagnat ang Pilipinas.

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Have fun trying to find out how to say words the proper way, with HowJSay, and here is another one complete with talking heads . So now I know that affidavit is pronounced with a long ‘A’ (not affidaahvit), respite with long ‘I’ in Europe and short ‘I’ in US, and sonofabitch is best said by an angry congressman.

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For those who travel, here is a luggage that turns into a sturdy chair. Is that Christine Jacob modeling the luggage transformer?

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World’s worst jobs. You think your job sucks? How does smelling armpits or getting infected with malaria appeal to you?

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Thank you Pacman, for 30 years of never-ending fun! Speaking of “pixel” video games, here is a game/video that reflects real life. Dan the Man!

Bull-1 Matador-0

Sucks to be the guy. That is going to leave a mark.
I hate bullfighting, and I feel bad for the guy, but I am happy for the bull. The bull later got killed by the way.

WARNING: not for the faint of heart.

Hi-res image after the jump. Be sure you have an empty stomach.

Gooooaaaaalllllll!!!

I watch soccer once in a while, I enjoy it, but I am not really a fan. However, this 3-minute video ad from Nike for the World Cup makes me want to be a fan. It even has Homer Simpson in it. Epic win.

Move over, Beiber!

He is going to be famous. The girls in the background are in awe, and wants to be his girlfriend.

It Tweets!

The PCOS Machine not only counts and tallies votes, it tweets!

http://twitter.com/PCOSmachine

Post election thoughts

- I have never been so happy being wrong.

- Jejomar Binay on the upset of the century. They should put Mar on a suicide watch. And Korina in a straight jacket. Seriously, I feel bad for Mar, but Binay’s team deserves all the credit for a great campaign.

- All but one of my senators will NOT make it. Winnie Monsod made a good point … of those who now appears to be winning, only two are new. Even then, they have prominent names: Marcos and Guingona. That is why we were encouraging people to bring their “studied” list when they vote. Without their list, top-of-mind rule applied … familiar names were selected: Revilla, Estrada, Drilon, Enrile, Guingona, Marcos, Osmena, Recto, Lapid. Same old shit.

- Noynoy will win by the biggest margin ever seen in Philippine presidential election. As of this writing, he is ahead of Erap by 4.8M votes, whereas Erap previously won the presidency by just more than 3M.

- Now that we see how much vote Villar got, I tend to think he paid for survey results, or at the very least manipulated. And that we now should distrust all those surveys. For how can they explain their result that Villar was just a few points behind, when he is now behind Noynoy by almost 9 million votes!. The survey said Villar is at 19%, so let us do the math:

• 45M registered voters, with 85% turnout, so baseline is 38M votes;
• 19% of 38M is 7.3M, where as Villar now has only 4.9M with almost 90 percent of votes tallied

- Smartmatic deserves our congratulations, but only for the quick results, and from the looks of it, the REAL results. Everything else before that … the preparations, the CF cards, etc … you deserve all the flak you got. Yes, I personally apologize for predicting a disaster, but you should also apologize to us for the near heart attack you gave us prior to election.

- ABS-CBN’s coverage was wider, their reports better, their visuals more appealing. GMA’s virtual TV screen was just ridiculous … what’s the need for the virtual TV when you have the actual video report anyway? But all of that advantage was put to waste, because GMA TV was waaay ahead in the updates of the vote tally. If I remember right, I was tuned in to GMA TV almost the entire time because their tally was ahead of ABS-CBN by around 3 million.

- I stopped wearing my yellow-ribbon pins and ballers, as we all should. The mandate has been given by the people, no need for political colors anymore. Anything else will just be gloating, and unnecessarily partisan, whereas we all should just rally behind the winners, even if we dislike them.

Villar just sealed his fate

Manny Villar just finished himself off. And showed his true color. After latest poll surveys came out and showed that Erap has overtaken him, he became pious and said he is bowing to the “Lord’s will,” but on the same breath lashed out at Noynoy like a fist of an angry god.

“Ako’y tinatanong, ano raw kaibahan naming halimbawa ni Noynoy? Si Noynoy daw ay maka-Diyos, e alam ko naman ho pinagtatawanan niya ang nanay niya e. Simba ng simba. Sa atin lang ho naman yan

“Ang pagkakaalam ko ang Diyos lang ang walang bahid, and to my surprise, our people are buying that again,” he said.

“Number one, Diyos lang ang walang bahid. Pangalawa, talaga naming malamang konti lang ang bahid mo dahil wala ka ngang nagagawa

“Paano ka naman mababahiran, papaano ka mapuputikan nang hindi ka naman lumulusong sa putik. Hindi ka naman magsasaka, airconditoned ang bahay mo, di natural wala kang putik.”

And then lashed out at the Aquino family (which, last I looked, included Cory, who is adored by the people, and Ninoy, who is a hero):

“Hindi na tinatanong ano na ba ang nagawa noong kandidato? Na parang napakahalaga sa atin ang apelyido. Sino ka ba? Sino ba ang pamilya mo?”

Hell has no fury like a woman scorned. Wait … what?
And then:

“Whatever happens, ako’y naniniwala na mananalo pa rin ako [I still believe that I will win]. I’m very confident,” drawing cheers from the crowd.

Yeah, right.

Villar is done. He will never be the same man again. He might not make it back on top again, not enough to make another run for the presidency. This was his chance, and it is gone … maybe forever.

Why Erap might win

I have a nagging feeling that Erap will win this presidential election. Yes, that is my prediction. I am not rooting for Erap, but I think he will win this whole thing. Here is why:

Gibo has no way of winning. The only way is if they cheat, and even then, the people will not believe he won, and will not accept it.

Villar, despite accusations of “Villaroyo”, is a wildcard for GMA. They are not sure he will be kind to them when he is in power. Besides, he messed up his campaign big time lately, with those fake psychiatric reports, and with that “Mom is crying on TV” thing. I don’t think he will win this too, and as an aside, I think this is Villar’s last hoorah … I believe he is done after this. He cannot make another successful run again after this, even if he wants to.

Erap is the closest one. Latest survey says Noynoy is up 22 points from second placer Erap. I don’t believe it. The survey may be right, but only in the context that it surveyed only 2,400 respondents. But Mindanao is where its at. That is Erap country. And when the vote from there comes in, the ‘gap’ will be a lot closer than that. The gap may even shift in his favor.

Now, stepping into GMA’s miniscule shoes and genius mind, this is how I would think. I will be prosecuted if somebody not friendly to me wins, so I will find a way to “make” the person friendly to me, win. Sige na nga, i will find a way to cheat. And you know she can do it. Based on my above evaluation, Gibo and Villar is, at this point, unacceptable to the people.

If it is Gibo, masyadong obvious na dinaya. If Villar, it is also a possibility, but again, he is a wildcard now. But Erap … he has overtaken Villar on the surveys, and surveys poison the people’s mind so he is more acceptable. And if he wins, I doubt People Power will materialize. I am quite sure there will be no People Power if he does win.

Erap will be kind to GMA. She pardoned him. It was upheld by the Supreme Court (all but two appointed by GMA at that time). The Supreme Court (all but one appointed by GMA at that time) also ruled, with finality, that Erap can still run despite being impeached and jailed. It was GMA who pardoned him, it was GMA’s Supreme Court that allowed him to run again.

So there you go. I predict it is Erap. The way the automation is being handled, which is a disaster waiting to happen, they can make anything happen. Erap wins, GMA wins and becomes House Speaker, they control the numbers in Congress. They impeach him again.

Election Day Awareness

On one previous COMELEC mock polls/dry run/test, less than 600 were able to finish voting during an 11-hour window from 7AM to 6PM. Now that we have clustered precincts, there will be anywhere from 600 to 1,000 voters per clustered precinct.

So go to your voting places early. If you still do not know where or what your precinct number is (it is not the old one anymore), COMELEC has a precinct finder for registered voters. You are not registered? Shame on you, you do not have a right to complain about the government and its officials.

Aside from going early, make sure to come prepared. It is almost guaranteed that there will be a line, so as individuals, let us eliminate time-wasting ignorance and come ready.

• At least a day before election day, know your precinct number by going to your barangay officials, going to the school or polling places where you will vote, or checking COMELEC online here.

• Make a list, so as not to waste time. Sample ballots should be available from your barangays by this date, ask for a copy and use that to make your list (kodigo), so you can fill up quickly. Remember, there will be old people, first time voters, and other “makulits” that will hold up the line and the process … do not be one of them.

• Bring a valid ID with picture. Approach the BEI when it is your turn, they will check your ID and your fingernails for indelible ink. You will sign on the voter’s list and the BEI will authenticate the ballot by affixing their signatures before they hand it over to you inside a secrecy folder.

• Before leaving the BEI’s table, check your ballot very well. Except for the signatures, it should not be filled in, it should be clean of any markings, it should not be folded, and there are no scratches on it specially on the bar codes around the edges. If you see something wrong with your ballot, you can ask for it to be replaced. This is your only chance to have it replaced. If you destroy or invalidate you ballot after this process, you DO NOT get a replacement anymore. You would also be provided a marker. Use this instead of your own ballpen or marker.

• Vote only 1 President, 1 Vice President, and 12 Senators, other wise your vote is invalid. You can vote less if you want, but not more. Fully shade the bilog na hugis itlog beside your candidate’s name. It is OK if you shade beyond the oval space, ‘wag lang OA ang paglagpas.

• When you are done, approach the PCOS machine. Do not let anyone, including the BEIs, to touch your ballot. On the PCOS display, look at the count before you insert your ballot, and look again after, and make sure your ballot got counted. You can insert the ballot in any direction. Wait for that “Congratulations …” on the display before leaving the machine.

• Legally you can try four times, and then if it still does not accept your ballot, the BEI will mark your ballot as spoiled or invalid, put it in an envelope for invalid ballots, and that’s it, you lost your chance to make a difference. So handle that ballot very carefully, that cannot be stressed enough.

On May 7, it was planned that PCOS machines will be at the voting precincts, and the assigned BEIs and representatives will conduct demos and tests to the public. If you can, be there at your precincts for this, so you can observe and see if your PCOS works.

However, with recent developments on those CF cards, I am not sure if the May 7 tests can push through. I feel veeeerry anxious about this automation process, I am seriously thinking it has been designed to fail. Not the entire process, but in areas where attention and vigilance is low.

Let us not allow that. If you see something irregular happening, it is within your every right to question it. Having said that, the BEIs or the teachers have had very little training on this new process and on the PCOS machines themselves. Let us be kind to them, be considerate, and be helpful.

Pray, citizens. Let us pray for a peaceful election process, and more importantly, pray that the results will reflect the real will of the people.